If U Like It I Do It Again
If a guy has ever bothered you, bellyaching you, continued to do something fifty-fifty though yous asked him not to... then the answer to your question, "WHY?!!!" is finally here.
I'thou going to first describe how and why information technology happens in dating or in your everyday interactions with men and then simply lightly cover it when it'south coming from a guy you're in a relationship with.
Let's begin with...
The dating or normal everyday interactions with guys.
Long ago I reached out to a guy considering I needed help with women. His name was David DeAngelo.
(If you know a guy who needs him send them there - for yous - I've included his links and his Real name below in the credits department.)
In ane of his first lessons he shockingly said this,
"When she is getting bellyaching by something y'all are doing... don't end doing it - practice it more and plow it upwards!"
Of form it's taken out of context and seems a little mean only I noticed very apace that guys who were skillful with women - type one guys - they were ALL doing it.
Some were good about it and using it the right fashion. Others were just plain rude.
However, in either case (depending on circumstance and the adult female they used it on) it worked amazingly well. PUA's picked information technology up and gave the lame version of information technology a proper noun. They called it "The bratty lilliputian sister routine."
Which is really meant to be literal, care for a adult female like your bratty little sister and y'all WILL create attraction. (in context of course.)
The idea behind it is brilliant because information technology creates friction, sexual chemical science, displays confidence, a little indifference, and when composite accordingly with humor, tact, and a strong yet gentle bear upon does trigger attraction in a adult female.
In fact - give it a piddling tweak it also works for women on men too. Perhaps we'll telephone call that ane the "Pain in the donkey big brother routine." Treat a guy like he's your older and bigger huge pain in the donkey brother with respect and humour and it'southward guaranteed to work. (If you endeavor it let me know how it works for you.)
This "routine" was meant to be used for the little things like: Playing music you don't similar and when asked to plow information technology off - the guy turns it up and/or never giving you a direct answer and teasing you virtually it. Etc...
I'chiliad not going to get into all the details of how and why it works so well simply I will say it has a wonderful side effect. It can get a adult female to bear witness who she is actually is indirectly making it a valuable "testing" tool a guy can use on you.
YES - certain men Exercise test women too. It'due south not merely a female art form.
Remember all this the next time a guy continues to do something which annoys you because he's either learned how to do it, ingrained it'due south skill into his personality, or grew into it accidentally and constitute how well it worked on girls and so connected to do it subsequently in life.
If information technology's existence used on you, chances are information technology's because he wants to create attraction and therefore is attracted to you AND is interested in you.
Proceed in mind though that some guys don't use information technology the correct way and are just plainly mean or totally idiots when information technology comes to interacting with women.
IF you want to know the difference or split the REAL human being from the pathetic boy who uses information technology like some lame-ass toy what you lot want to look for is the humor behind it.
Hither are some clues to look for then you can tell the difference:
- When it's done with a half smile and meant to poke fun in a good way - then that's a good sign.
- When it's non mean but for the sake of pissing yous off - and then that'due south likewise a good sign.
- When information technology's done every bit a prelude to flirting and teasing you - then that's likewise a good sign he's interested to you lot and feeling attracted to y'all.
- When it's used accordingly and nearly important SPARINGLY and it builds chemistry and then it's a practical guarantee that he's a type one guy who is most certainly interested in learning more about you.
Moving on to...
The relationship side of it all.
Men rarely alter unless there's a profound and sometimes skilful reason to practice so.
This means if you meet a guy who does these things to y'all - good or bad - Wait it will NEVER stop merely because you observe yourself in a relationship with him.
Sure, some type ones become a little lazy or stop doing it so much one time yous're together for a while, that's to be expected and also brash in whatsoever long-term relationship.
Yet you might notice yourself in a commitment with a guy when it starts to happen more oft AND in that location's very picayune humour behind information technology - if whatsoever at all.
That's a BAD sign.
An unfortunate breakup in communication that predicts there are current or time to come problems in your human relationship which needs to exist addressed and handled IMMEDIATELY.
But wait - before you go all scared and freaking out that your relationship is falling apart yous must consider your part in it:
IF he's had bad habits you knew abut when y'all first started dating or adult them over the years and they're now getting annoying or on your fretfulness AND yous've done little to know how to communicate your feelings to him in a way he can empathise plus empathise with you - then you'll want to go in that location first.
Bad or abrasive habits can grate on y'all over time and information technology'due south understandable that in every relationship they can become troublesome BUT it's not always a bad thing which also means they're fixable.
For the more than simple communication problems this program will help yous out a lot:
Ten Second Phenomenon - Transform your Relationship Ten Seconds At A fourth dimension.
Basically you BOTH must larn how to express your feelings in a style which your partner gets information technology, brings y'all both closer, and opens up a amend more productive line of communication.
Moving on deeper to these things representing a much deeper problem:
He might be doing it in setting up a grudge match. Perhaps something is or was bothering him and he doesn't know how to express it or tell you without causing a huge fight and so it comes out in these weird strange ways.
It could be the beginnings or current boxing of superiority. A bad attempt to gain control in a relationship by putting the partner down rather than edifice you both up.
For instance: You lot've asked him a hundred times to empty the dishwasher and he won't and now he'south Not doing it just to piss yous off. Obviously something deeper is going on and he probably felt like you're always TELLING him what to practise which in plow create a POWER STRUGGLE.
And once again - a lack of effective advice over the years and little things similar this pile upwardly and go huge problems.
The more decision-making he feels you lot're beingness the more he'll try to proceeds control in non-effective oft abrasive bothersome ways.
Overall - in a relationship where this is a consistently happening affair which is only getting worse it's likely one or all of the post-obit:
- A control trouble.
- A ability struggle,
- Needs are not being met.
- Passive aggressive behavior.
- Months or years of miscommunication.
- Personal bug where he doesn't experience safe to tell you.
In those cases - the deeper they get, the longer they've been edifice, the harder or more frustrating they're condign - it's probably time to prepare things on a amend path every bit soon every bit possible because they Volition NOT SOLVE THEM SELVES:
IF you're not sure if it's just him beingness a bad guy, or making lots of mistakes, or is just troubled inside and doesn't know how to share those feelings with him then this is designed to help yous through it all from kickoff to finish:
Toxic Homo - If Your Man Breaking Your Middle? Discover Out How To Transform Him Into The Loving And Caring Partner You Deserve.
If things have actually taken a turn for the worse and you're considering counseling then this would be a great place to first:
Human relationship CPR - Stop the Pain, Repair the Damage and Bring Dorsum Dear, Devotion & Trust to Your Relationship.
Honestly - most cases similar this are fixable IF they're not ignored for too long so you lot probably don't need to see a therapist.
Only some good old fashioned learning, reading, and working a little on how to communicate in a relationship volition work for y'all.
In conclusion...
Why Exercise Men Go on to Do Something When They Know it Bothers You.
When information technology comes to dating and everyday interactions there'southward a strong possibility he's just out to tease you, create some chemistry, exercise his "bratty picayune sister" routine on you.
Information technology generally means he'due south trying to create or build attraction. He's interested in y'all and is certainly feeling attracted to y'all.
It'southward a well-known (thing) that most blazon one guys do.
Don't be afraid to give information technology right back IF at that place's a clear sense of humor backside it and it'southward all seemingly in adept fun.
Permit me know how my "Pain in the donkey big brother routine." works for you.
Other times (less common) he'due south just being as ass and for whatever his reasons are - putting downwards others, particularly women is all he has going for him.
Unfortunately not anybody is a kind decent human existence AND certainly not every GUY knows how to do these sort of things with women the right way and therefore will spiral it up and just cease upwards pissing you off.
I wont apologize for them scrap I will say I'm sorry to you for having to up with good information in the wrong hands or being used by a guy who only doesn't get it.
On the relationship end.
Bad habits can become or get more annoying over time. It's not necessarily a sign of bad things to come.
More often than not with a few tweaks in how you lot two communicate to each it tin can be solved and quickly taken intendance of.
If it represents a bigger problem information technology's usually been building up over some time. This can be anything from command to bug to a major power struggle to a guy who has felt his feelings were being ignored or he doesn't know how to convey them and has been hiding them for mode too long.
Generally even the toughest ones can be fixed and helped with a little time, patience, understanding on both sides, and a little work.
Information technology doesn't take to signal an terminate to the relationship.
Lastly...
If it's truly bothering you lot and you're not involved with the guy, you're not dating him, and he'south just a rude prick that likes to carp women and happens to be focused on you right now - he's a BULLY.
Unfortunately dealing with a bully is not something I would dare to five communication on. PLEASE go to your search engine and use that word exclusively considering you're more than likely to find the help you demand.
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Source: https://www.whydoguys.com/why-men-continue-something-when-they-know-bothers-you/
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